Mt. Twerks-a-lot

RI

I’ve basically become known as my generation’s foremost authority on the day-to-day thoughts, feelings, and dreams of Rihanna….Rihanna? What the Hell is her last name? Does she have one?

[Brief lull as I consult Wikipedia, arbiter of all knowledge you don’t actually need]

“Robyn Rihanna Fenty”?!? Holy shit.

Anyway, I wrote about her new video and Esquire was nice enough to publish it. Go read me get all high and mighty at this rich genius for not smiling enough (no seriously, that’s what I wrote). Rihanna’s going to love it.